And now, I will vent, and blab.
Fin, you are an uptight fucking cunt for sooo many reasons. Please, for the sake of humanity, take a pill, because I swear to God, one day you are going to give your children a disorder by the sheer amount of crazy you shed at the most unimportant of things. Also, you didn't get the job, so stop acting like you are in charge.
On an unrelated note (well, slightly related, probably tangential), I cannot wait to leave here. I will be gone by October, and the fact that I don't know where I will be is so amazingly uplifting.
I came to college wanting to open up, and develop me. And I did that. I can take charge now. I can speak in public and introduce myself.
Then, I wanted a boyfriend. Someone to share my life with and I wanted to settle down and just hold someone while I slept. But I did that. I had a boyfriend. And while most of the relationship was built on an immense amount of his lies, I got the jist of the thing. And yeah, I still want kids, and I want to paint the room of the house he and I just bought, but it can wait. I've had my taste, I can wait to the main course.
And, I even traveled. I went abroad, in countries where English isn't the first language at that! I walked the streets at night with my headphones in, knowing that I didn't fit in, but I was strong enough to get by!
But now...now what? Im drifting. Im doing nothing. Im just waiting for the next thing. The next way to personal development, but I don't really know what that is yet. I know that it involves me going off on my own, helping people. But I don't know what Im trying to take away from it. More personal responsibility I guess? An appreciation for what I have..yea. But I don't really have a goal. I have an idea, but not a goal, and I kinda like that. It's just the drifting I can't stand. The time until I start the next part of my "journey", or whatever the fuck you wanna call it...
